


up in our bedroom after the war

by ikuzonos



Series: The Friends We Used to Know [13]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff and Angst, NDRV3 Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, gay shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 07:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11595714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikuzonos/pseuds/ikuzonos
Summary: [Major Endgame NDRV3 Spoilers]Shirogane and Maki decompress during the decade in between.





	up in our bedroom after the war

**Author's Note:**

> "vee i thought tfwutk was finally done what the fuck"  
> listen.
> 
> anyways i started this in april. and i. finally finished it. gahhhhhh

Water drips down the bridge of her nose, stray drops brushing the edges of her lips. The shower water has long since turned cold, but she stays under the icy spray. It’s the first time that she’s showered in weeks.

Wet, greasy hair clings to the skin on her back. There’s a bottle of shampoo in the corner of the narrow shower stall, but her shaky hands don’t dare to try and unscrew the cap.

Her vision has blurred considerably, but she doesn’t know whether it’s the water seeping into her eyes, or because her glasses are lying on the edge of the sink.

Water brushes the sensitive scars on her inner thigh, and she stumbles the slightest bit. At some point, she kicked the plug shut, and the water has risen higher than she expected. Maybe she should continue to stand there, stand there until the water is over her head and swallows her whole. Then she can finally repent for her sins.

There’s a loud banging noise, but she doesn’t know if there’s someone at the door, or if it’s just the pounding inside her head again. The banging persists, until it’s replaced by a noise that has to be real.

Maki’s voice rings through the room, muffled by the sound of the shower, “I’m coming in!”

She makes no move to cover herself, in fact, she makes no move at all until Maki flings open the shower curtain, letting light and cold air wash over her skin.

Maki stares at her blankly, then rolls up her sleeve and reaches into the water, pulling up the plug. They look into each other’s eyes in silence, until the last of the water has slipped down the drain.

“Shirogane…” Maki murmurs softly, passing over her glasses. The lenses have fogged up since she left them haphazardly on the edge of the sink.

Shirogane’s hands shake as she places the wiry frames back on her face. She opens her mouth to say something, but the heavy feeling in her throat stops her.

Maki takes her hand and helps her out of the shower. She sits Shirogane down on a floor mat, and drapes a towel around her body. She feels Maki begin to comb out the tangled mess that is her hair, and only resists when the tug against her scalp is too sharp.

She wishes that this was the first time that this has happened.

-

It’s only her and Maki Harukawa left in the Team  _ Dangan Ronpa _ studio. At least, of the contestants in the final season. There’s hundreds of other employees, only about a quarter of whose names that Shirogane actually knows. 

In her defence, Shirogane didn't bother to learn them because she was certain that she would be dead before it could ever matter. 

Day in and day out, things remain the same. The only difference is that Shirogane now feels safe wandering aimlessly around the compound, since she doesn't have to worry about running into a person whose entire life she ruined. 

Of course, she runs into Maki all the time. But for some reason, Shirogane has separated Maki from the others. Deep down, she suspects that it’s because the black haired girl has no place in the outside world either.

Shirogane has her mother, but she visits rarely, and there’s definitely a tension between them now. She always sits with her handbag on her lap, and never makes eye contact with her anymore.

She was going to leave with the others, back when her unfortunate victims were allowed to go home, but the studio had forbade her. She had so many plans, and they had gone down the drain faster than her blood does in the shower.

Sometimes, Shirogane thinks it might be better this way. Half the time, she moves in a suicidal daze anyways. If she  _ had _ left with the others, she figures she might have ended up as yet another quickly forgotten celebrity suicide.

She wonders too, where Maki would be if she had left. She’d probably some famous movie star, or a scientist, or anything but an employee for the worst company in the goddamn world. In Shirogane’s opinion, Maki could probably be anyone she wanted to.

A fiendish, jealous part of her hates that.

-

“Why are you feeling so scared right now?”

Shirogane is lying on her back on a leather sofa. Kokone Kizuki - Team  _ Dangan Ronpa’s  _ resident psychologist, though Shirogane secretly suspects that she doesn’t have a psychology degree - is watching her with curiosity.

Kizuki adds, “Is it because of the upcoming trial?”

Shirogane flinches almost involuntarily. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, then says, “Probably… Why does the team want to try and reboot the show? The public voted to end  _ Dangan Ronpa _ for good, didn’t they?”

“Mmm…” Kizuki says, “It’s not my place to ask the executives, but I’m sure they have their reasons. Tell me, Shirogane-san. If they did reboot it, would you want to be on the show again?”

Her gut instinct is  _ never again, I won’t hurt another group of people, _ but her brain seems to disagree with this sentiment. What if she did participate again? What does she have to live for, anyways?

(It used to be ‘Why would I want a world without  _ Dangan Ronpa _ ?’ and now it’s ‘Why would I want a world  _ with  _ it?’)

“I don’t know,” Shirogane murmurs, “I like to think that I wouldn’t, but I’m not sure. I never want to hurt anyone else with the show again, though I wouldn’t say no to playing the game as just a person.”

Kizuki smiles, “You’re more than just a person, you’re Tsumugi Shirogane! The team doesn’t know what they’d do without you, in all honestly.”

Shirogane smiles bitterly, “Great.”

-

Maki has cut her hair into a short bob with a pair of craft scissors. The edges are wonky and crooked, but Shirogane thinks it looks nice. 

She considers cutting her own hair, wanting to get rid of the hideous blue expanse that tries to suffocate her while she sleeps, but getting too close to any kind of blade makes her thighs twitch, and Shirogane doesn’t want to almost bleed out in the bathroom again.

Instead she draws red lines up and down her legs with a waterproof crayola marker, her hands wavering and making the lines crooked and uneven. 

She can’t even pretend to self-harm right.

-

The newly installed television in the breakroom flickers. 

Shirogane is sitting on one of the squishy couches with her knees pressed up to her chest. One of the many blankets that the team leaves lying around is draped around her shoulders, but she can barely feel the warmth. 

On the other side of the couch, Maki is sitting and reading a book like a normal person. It’s strange how often they find themselves together, in places like this, but it’s comforting at the same time. Shirogane had expected Maki to hate her for what she did in the simulation, but she seems to have adopted ‘the past is in the past’ as her mantra.

It’s been almost three and half years now, she thinks. That’s a long time. 

Even so, Team  _ Dangan Ronpa _ is four months into a court case that she doesn’t think will ever be solved. Some of the higher ups have mentioned wanting to redo the original movie created by the now infamous film director Junko Enoshima - Shirogane feels her stomach pulse at the mention of her name - but with all new actors and an updated plot.

(she could get called upon to play maizono or fukawa because she looks enough like them as it is and if she really worked at it she could probably act as any of the others too.)

“ _ And here we are at the courthouse with some members of Team  _ Dangan Ronpa,  _ who are…” _

Maki reaches out towards the remote, but Shirogane snatches it before she can touch it, and clutches it in her sweaty hands. Her heart thumps against her throat as she turns her full attention to the screen.

“... _ controversial actions have been called into question prior to this date. However, the team has come out and said that they are going to work only in the most ethical conditions from now on.” _

The camera pans away from the newscaster to a crowd of people. There’s so many people holding posters and picket signs that it makes her vision swim.

_ “What do the people think about this development? Would you be willing to watch another season of  _ Dangan Ronpa?”

A microphone is passed over to the crows and a few people begin to talk, desperately speaking over each other.

_ “Never! We can’t ever go back to that! Innocent children getting killed on television… it’s just not right. I don’t care what these people say, we can’t ever let that show take over!” _

_ “I want  _ Dangan Ronpa _ back! I miss that show so much, it was my entire life! Hana Yotsuya, if you’re still out there, I love you-!” _

_ “Ugh, you’re a Yotsuya stan? No, the best character was Rikuto Hayashi, from the reunion season! He was the coolest character to ever be on the show, and you’re saying that  _ Yotsuya _ is your idol? Get out of my face!” _

_ “Both of you have such garbage taste! Yotsuya’s a shit tier waifu and Hayashi’s so problematic! If you want an actually  _ good  _ character, maybe pay attention to Riko Inoshishi? You know, the best character to ever grace the franchise?” _

_ “Fuck you! Inoshishi has nothing on Minato Arisato! He’s the first protagonist to instantly take initiative, instead of leaning back and waiting for the others to fight his battles for him!” _

_ “All Arisato ever did was listen to emo music! Yuki Matsuoka is where it’s at. God, all of you are so basic! You’re not a real  _ Dangan Ronpa  _ fan if you can’t appreciate the classics!” _

_ “Uh, I like Sayaka Maizono-” _

_ “Fucking Hope’s Peak stans… Stay in your lane, we don’t need boring people like you here. Next you’ll tell me that you like Kyosuke Munakata!” _

_ “Munakata was good-” _

_ “You’re a disgrace to the fandom.” _

_ “...So would I be correct in saying that all of you would be open to seeing another season of  _ Dangan Ronpa,  _ should the court case turn out in their favour?” _

Maki plucks the remote out of Shirogane’s hands and presses the ‘off’ button. There’s a long silence, as Shirogane looks at the now dark screen, thinking about the response that she knows she doesn’t want to hear.

“You can’t always believe what you see on television,” Maki says flatly.

Shirogane pulls the blanket around her tighter. It rips.

-

August arrives early that year, or so it seems to. Shirogane hardly ever goes outside anymore, not that she really can. Her options are the roof and the courtyard, neither of which are particularly pleasant places to be, especially when there's nothing but dirt and cacti for miles in every direction. 

And when the days blur into the months blur into the years, and the only way she can keep time is from the increasingly low quality birthday cakes that Team  _ Dangan Ronpa  _ brings them, Shirogane figures that there's nothing she can really do about it. 

Instead, she shovels a bite of dry cake with stale frosting into her mouth, and wishes that she knew if the ashen taste came from her inability to enjoy life, or if the cake is just that bad. 

Maki doesn't complain about the taste of the cake, but she doesn't eat much of it either. It's a small birthday cake, much smaller - and much more disgusting - than the ones they had received the previous year.

Eventually, she pushes it away, “It's your birthday. You eat the cake.”

Shirogane sets her fork down, “No… I've had enough.”

Maki eyes the garbage disposal, “Then unless… something  _ happens,  _ we have left overs. Again.”

Shirogane meets Maki’s gaze, nods silently, then picks up the remains of the cake and carries it over to the chute, chucking it down platter and all.

“That's much better,” Shirogane murmurs, spinning around to face Maki. 

For the first time in months, Maki manages a smile. It goes away just as quickly as it arrived, but it means something to her. Shirogane commits the moment to memory. 

“I've got a present for you,” Maki says, “Come on, I think you'll like it.”

Shirogane blinks, “A present? For me?”

Maki rolls her eyes, “It's your birthday, Shirogane. Of course it's for you. Follow me.”

Shirogane trails after her, as Maki climbs the stairs one at a time. She's out of breath by the time they reach the hallway where their rooms are. Maki hasn't broken a sweat. 

Initially, Shirogane dreaded the hallway because she knew that behind every door was a person who hated her guts. Now, she dreads it because of the sense of isolation it gives off. It's only ever her and Maki, it only ever will be, and the thirteen empty rooms only continue to press this into her mind. 

Maki's footsteps echo against the cold metal, until she stops in front of Shirogane’s room, “Here we are.”

“I… thought you had a present for me,” Shirogane says, wringing her hands together. 

Maki nods, “I do.” She pushes the door open, and Shirogane quizzically follows her inside. 

Once they're in Shirogane's room, Maki says, “This is my present. If you have any… cosplays that you want me to wear, or want to make one, I'll wear it. For as long as you'd like.”

Shirogane's jaw drops, “R-Really?”

Maki nods, “Happy birthday. You deserve something nice.”

Shirogane bursts into her first real smile since the game ended, and hugs Maki tightly. The shorter girl tenses, but then slowly eases into the embrace. 

(As it turns out, Maki makes a  _ killer  _ Akame.)

-

As Maki checks her emails on the clunky laptop that the team provided, Shirogane tries to braid the strands of her hair together. Each of them got a custom email address, also courtesy of the team, but Shirogane never checks hers. 

What's the point? The only person in the world who hopefully likes her is sitting two feet away from her. Perhaps Kiibo counts too, but he's always helping the team fix their wi-fi, and he doesn't ever talk to her anymore. 

“Huh,” Maki says suddenly, “Would you look at that.”

Shirogane turns to look at her, “What is it? Is everything okay?”

Maki turns the laptop around so that Shirogane can see it and says, “Looks like Saihara managed to finish his book.”

She flinches at the sound of his name. Her interactions with Saihara were few and far inbetween, but they were all incredibly negative. The only thing he left her with besides a carving knife was more self loathing than she ever could have imagined. 

She knows that he has a right to hate her, she's awful. She orchestrated all the murders, and committed one herself. He has every reason to hate her for what she did, especially in regards to Kaede Akamatsu. 

“That's… That’s good,” is all she says in the end, “Did… did he say what it was about?”

Maki looks back at the email, “No... but he  _ did _ attach the entire text of it as a PDF. Do you want to find out?”

Shirogane nods, and Maki begins to read. It soon becomes apparent that he never intended to write a mystery novel. No, his account of the fallout of the season is far more chilling than anything she's heard before. 

(How funny is it that Shuuichi Saihara always manages to leave her with self hatred, even though he wasn't trying this time, even though he's not even here?)

-

If Saihara's book is good for anything, though, it completely shuts down Team  _ Dangan Ronpa’s _ court case. 

They find out the good news on a dreary Friday morning, from a very downcast employee. It's all Shirogane can do to not celebrate on the spot. After all the hell that the show had put her through, it finally was over for good. 

“What do you think they'll do with us now?” Maki asks her, brushing her now wavy hair over her shoulder. It's grown out a bit, long enough that something can be done with it. 

Shirogane shrugs, “Sell our autographs online, probably. Anything to keep funds pouring in.”

Maki laughs bitterly, then glances off into the distance, a faraway look in her eyes all of a sudden.

Shirogane bites her lip until her teeth pierce the skin and blood fills her mouth.

-

For her birthday, Maki is presented with a cupcake that has the consistency of a brick. Not even to her face by a staff member, rather, it is left in front of her bedroom door, and is the first thing she encounters come morning. 

Shirogane meets her unimpressed gaze evenly, as the shorter girl turns it over in her hand. 

“What should we do with it?”

For the next several years, the walls of Maki’s room would bear the scrapes of the two trying to use it as chalk. Shirogane has fun though, spending time with Maki, and she suspects that the other girl does too.

Maki is easy to be with. Perhaps it's the fact that they really have no other choice than to communicate with the other, but a tiny part of Shirogane's heart likes to believe that it's something more. 

She feels it - in her face and in her chest - whenever they're together. Does Maki feel it too? That's the part that Shirogane doubts. 

(After all, shouldn't Maki lie awake at night, still thinking about Kaito Momota? Shouldn't she be at least still a little bit in love with him? That's how Shirogane wrote the script that's what she  _ planned _ to happen why does it sting why does it sting why does it sting sting  _ sting _ )

-

“A game show?” Shirogane asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Maki nods, “Like for trivia. They're popular in the west.”

Not wanting to attend the meeting that the team had set up for that morning, Shirogane had hidden in the back of her closet. She'd heard knocks on the door for a long time, but eventually, the people looking for her gave up. She couldn't go back into the meeting room and see the beady eyes and grimy hands of the administration again.

Maki, despite having no obligation to do so, covered for her. 

“Since they can't play the whole ‘have teenagers kill each other on television for the purpose of studying the human condition’ angle anymore, they're trying to go clean,” Maki says.

Shirogane crosses her arms, “That's a stupid idea…”

Maki replies, “I agree, but the people at the top already voted on this. We have to go with it, or they'll screw with our contracts.” She rubs the hem of her shirt with her thumbs, looking uncomfortable. It takes a moment, but it eventually hits her - Maki can’t risk being terminated because she has nothing and nobody else in the world.

Shirogane hums quietly in response.

Almost unconsciously, Maki reaches out and takes Shirogane’s hand, “I do have good news, though. They assigned you a new job… and I think that you’ll like it.”

“What is it?” she asks tentatively.

Maki says, “You’re going to be a scout for potential trivia contestants. That means leaving this place, finally. I don’t know where we’ll have to go, but we don’t have to stay in this compound anymore.”

Shirogane blinks, stuck between reactions. Admittedly, she assumed that she and Maki would be forced to live in the compound for the rest of their lives. And she should be overjoyed that she finally gets to leave, but she knows that it’s not an actual escape. She’s still tied down to Team  _ Dangan Ronpa _ and every terrible person employed there.

Eventually, she croaks, “They want me to scout?”

Maki nods, “You’ll go to seminars and libraries, or listen to guest speakers, and find people who might be good for the show. They picked you because you’re-”

“Good at blending in?” Shirogane finishes, “I... am very plain.”

Maki tilts her head, “I wouldn’t call you plain. I think you’re beautiful.”

Shirogane flushes at the compliment. Maki is still holding her hand.

In an ideal world, she leans down as Maki reaches up, and they meet right in the middle. Instead, the shorter girl breaks away, and Shirogane closes her fist tight, wishing for the ghost of Maki’s touch to return.

-

The apartment that Team  _ Dangan Ronpa _ provides for the two of them is exactly the right mix between luxurious and home like. It has the same familial comforts of her childhood home, with small rooms and tight spaces, lights that flicker intermittently, and dirty linoleum that smells faintly of blood.

Maki is moving with her, and while Shirogane would have once questioned this choice, she’s ever so glad. Once, Shirogane never would have even  _ considered _ a situation like this, but Maki is a part of her life now, and it seems that she’s not going away.

Not that Shirogane wants her to leave. In fact, she’d like it if Maki stayed for the rest of her life. But that’s too unreasonable, even though she wants this more and more with every passing day. Maki will eventually get tired with her, get tired of putting up with all of her shit.

The first night there, Shirogane lies awake, completely unable to sleep. It's the first dead silent night that she can remember having in a long time. In the studio, she could always hear the scuffle on the floors below, but now, she can scarcely hear Maki breathing on the other side of the wall.

It's not the soft bed, warm blankets, or the moonlight shining in through the window that's the problem. No, Shirogane feels something else, something eating away at her stomach, and it's killing her ability to sleep. 

She almost wants to go back to the suffocating, uncomfortable compound, as much as she despises it. At least she feels as if she actually belongs there. She doesn't deserve this nice apartment, or any luxuries, she only deserves the cold metal rooms that make the hair on her arms stand on end. 

The air is cold. Shirogane pulls the quilt up to her eyes and tries not to think about the crushing guilt on her shoulders. 

-

The loud knocking on the metal door makes Shirogane shoot awake. She’s wrapped in one of many blankets like a cocoon, the lights dimmed and her eyelids heavy. She doesn’t have a clue what day it is. It’s been a long time since she’s left her room.

She shakes off the blanket as she sits up, then makes her way over to the door. She doesn’t have a clue who it might be, besides a member of the staff. They don’t usually come to see her though, and her classmates - they never went to class together, she doesn’t know why she thinks of them as that - all hate her.

They have the right to, though. She  _ was _ the mastermind, after all.

To her surprise, on the other side of the door is one of her dear ‘classmates,’ Maki Harukawa. The black haired girl looks different since the last time she saw her, months and months ago.

“Hi, Shirogane,” Maki says, weirdly calm. There’s no trace of malice in her voice, just boredom, “There’s somebody here to see you. It’s… visiting day for families.”

Shirogane blinks. She peers to the side, looking behind Maki to see her mother standing in the hallway, looking out of place. Her colours are still soft, not hard and ruined like the inhabitants of the compound.

Her mother waves politely, then takes a few steps forward so that she’s inside the room. Once she’s past her, Shirogane looks back at Maki and says, “T-Thank you, Harukawa-san. I, er, appreciate that you brought her to me.”

Maki shrugs, “It wasn’t a big deal. See you around, maybe.”

With that, the black haired girl leaves her, and Shirogane stands in shock for a moment, having had the first conversation since she’s woken up with a person who doesn’t hate her. It’s a very strange feeling, Shirogane thinks, especially considering all the nasty remarks she’s received from the others in passing.

Shirogane moves away from the door and faces her mother. The brown haired woman seems mystified by the room, her gaze glued to the bars on the window.

“Hello, kaasan,” Shirogane says softly, pulling one of the blankets off of her bed and slinging it around her shoulders, “Um… I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to call you after I woke up.”

Her mother turns around slowly, sadness and longing in her eyes. She looks as if she’s lost something, somehow. Her voice is quiet, “Tsumugi… How are you doing? I haven’t been able to talk to you for a long time.”

Shirogane looks at her mother, her mother who is clearly trying  _ so hard, _ and starts to cry. She tries to wipe her eyes on her sleeves, but the tears keep coming.

Her mother doesn’t move to comfort her like she would have if Shirogane was still the tiny, shy, eight year old girl that she used to be. Rather, the woman stays three feet away from her the whole time, and when she leaves, she seems to be relieved.

As soon as she’s alone again, Shirogane falls to the floor and cries harder.

-

At some point, she falls into an uneasy sleep, because Shirogane blinks suddenly and realizes that it's morning. There's a clanging noise coming from the kitchen. Maki must already be up. 

Shirogane rises slowly, her body heavy. She moves her disgusting mess of greasy hair over her shoulder, and leaves the bedroom, her feet tingling on the cold tile. Maki is standing at the stove, and from what Shirogane can tell, is attempting to fry some eggs.

“G-Good morning, Harukawa-san,” she chokes out, her voice dry and creaky. She’s probably dehydrated again. Her mouth feels like a desert.

Maki jumps, her fist hitting the frying pan and sending it flying. It crashes onto the kitchen table and the eggs spill all over, dripping onto the floor.

“I. I meant to do that,” Maki says, hurrying over to the table with a cloth in hand, cleaning up the uncooked eggs.

Shirogane rubs her neck, “I’m sorry for scaring you… I’ll just leave you alone, I really didn’t mean to-”

Maki replies, “No, it’s not your fault. I just have bad luck when I’m cooking. That’s why I don’t do it very often, because usually-”

Fire erupts from the stove.

“...Usually something like  _ that _ happens,” Maki says, slowly getting to her feet, “We have a fire extinguisher, right?”

Shirogane shrugs, “D-Do we?”

As it turns out, the apartment does  _ not _ have a fire extinguisher anywhere in it, so once Maki throws enough flour onto the flames to make them cease, she rips the first page out of a notepad and scrawls ‘buy fire extinguisher’ in slick, neat writing.

Shirogane hovers in the corner the whole time, trying to stay out of the way. Maki seems so confident, in control, and sure of herself. Shirogane doesn’t see any traces of the fearful, nervous girl who came to the auditions, just a powerful leader.

It makes her jealous. Jealous and something else that she can’t quite put her finger on.

Maki wipes the sweat off of her forehead with her wrist, sending a chill down Shirogane’s spine. The dark haired girl somehow manages to look stunning in the soft sunlight of the kitchen.

“So, Shirogane… would you like to go out for breakfast?”

-

After heavily disguising themselves, Maki takes Shirogane to a small breakfast nook near their apartment. They get a few strange glances along the way, but nobody stops them.

The  _ shokudō  _ is almost empty when they arrive, much to their surprise. Maki tears Shirogane away from the plastic food display outside.

The waiter greets them and brings them to a table by the window, where he then directs them to where the free water is. Maki thanks him, while Shirogane quietly slips into one of the seats. Talking to strangers is no longer her strong suit.

Over and over again, while Maki reads through the menu, Shirogane desperately cleans her hands on the towel. No matter how hard she scrubs, she can still see blood on her skin.

“I have to go to the washroom,” she whispers to Maki, then rushes off before she can argue.

Once she's alone, Shirogane goes for one of the stalls and rips out a chunk of toilet paper. Then she goes to the sink and turns it on. Once the paper is wet enough, she scrubs her fingers even more vigorously, desperate to remove blood that isn’t there.

The paper tears and her hands ache, but she can still see the splatter of when she killed Rantarou Amami (and twelve others subsequently, including herself) all over her disgusting skin.

“You are not a good person,” she hisses into the dirty, fingerprint covered mirror, “You  _ never _ should have woken up.”

She splashes her oily face with water that feels like bullets upon impact. Her stomach twists and her body trembles.

The door to the bathroom opens quietly, “Shirogane? Are you okay?”

She turns her head to see Maki poking her head in, a strange amount of concern in the girl’s eyes. Shirogane clears her throat quickly and says, “Y-Yes, I’m fine. I’ll be out in just a moment.”

Maki scrutinizes Shirogane for a moment, raising an eyebrow at the water dripping down her face, then nods and leaves the bathroom without another word.

Shirogane slams her fist down on the counter.

“Why do you care about me? I’m nothing more than a selfish coward…”

-

It takes her twenty minutes to get back to the table. Maki looks up from her phone the second that she appears, and her disgusted expression evaporates instantly. In fact, something close to a smile flits onto her lips for a mere second.

“S-Sorry,” Shirogane mumbles, sliding into her chair.

Maki replies, “Are you sure that you’re feeling well? We can go back to the apartment, if it’s an issue.”

Shirogane shakes her head, “No! I... I mean… I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep very well. That’s really all it is.”

Maki leans closer, resting her chin on her folded hands, “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. You were gone for a long time, and you look terrible. Did… something happen? Is there anything that I can do to help you?”

Shirogane stares blankly for a long time. There’s such a stark contrast between the cold, harsh personality that Maki’s brainwashed self had, and the warmth that pours out of the girl here. Certainly, Maki had been nice to her ever since the simulation ended, and the two had co-existed for several years up until that point, but this was the first time that Shirogane really felt it hit her.

Maki Harukawa, the girl she designed to be hated by everyone, including herself, has become the only person in her life that she can honest to god, completely trust.

And that terrifies her.

“Shirogane?” Maki prompts.

The blue haired girl shakily tugs on her scarf, “I’m scared. Of who I used to be, and of who I’ve become. Harukawa-san… I don’t want to be alive. I don’t deserve it.”

Maki reaches out as though to put her hand on the other girl’s arm, but draws back in the last second. Instead, she says quietly, “Well… I can’t stop you from being scared, but there is no doubt that the last thing is wrong. In fact, I’d argue that you deserve to live the most.”

“W-Why?” Shirogane asks, her eyes flitting between Maki and the table, “I’m… a terrible person.”

Maki folds her arms across her chest, “We both are. I caused three people to die, and I never received any penance for it.”

Shirogane opens her mouth to correct her, but then changes her mind. If she looks closely, she can see the ghosts of three people floating in Maki’s eyes.

“Maybe this,” Maki says slowly, “is our chance to repent for every awful thing we’ve done.”

Shirogane extends a shaking fist and gently lowers it onto the table. Maki waits for a moment, then lightly places her hand on top.

They don’t move until their breakfast arrives.

-

After breakfast, which ends up being absolutely delicious, Shirogane and Maki walk through the streets of the small town that they’re now living in. Shirogane’s glad that Team  _ Dangan Ronpa _ set them up in a less populated area, as it lowers the chance of the two being recognized by passersby.

Even with their disguises, she’s sure that a dedicated fan would be able to identify them in a heartbeat.

The pair move slowly through the town, taking the time to identify little landmarks they spy along the way. A park. A bookstore. A post office. On the edge of the horizon, Shirogane can spy miles of worn, small houses, sprawling over the hills.

It’s a quaint little place. Shirogane wonders if she’ll enjoy living here. Though, that assumes that she’ll live long enough for that.

Suddenly, Maki stops in the middle of the sidewalk and stares up at a building. She reaches into her pocket, looks at a piece of paper, then says, “We’re here.”

“W-We are?” Shirogane asks, feeling anxiety leak into her voice, “Where exactly is here? And… why?”

Maki turns to face her again, “That therapist provided by Team  _ Dangan Ronpa _ was absolute trash. I doubt she even studied psychology out of secondary school.”

Shirogane glances at the building, then back at Maki, “Then… is this…?”

Maki passes her the piece of paper, “I made a few arrangements last night. There’s an honest to god licensed psychologist up on the sixth floor, and he’s prepared to see you in twenty minutes. That is, if you want.”

Shirogane stares at her a moment, then breaks into a smile and launches forwards, capturing the shorter girl in a tight hug.

“Thank you so much…” she murmurs, holding Maki tight to her.

Maki replies warmly, “You’re welcome. And don’t think for a second that you don’t deserve this, because you do. Shirogane… you mean very much to me, and I don’t say this lightly. I know that you’ve helped make me into a better person, and I’m not sure where I’d be now if it wasn’t for you.”

“I don’t know where I’d be without  _ you _ ,” Shirogane admits, “I’m… not good at talking, but I want to thank you for everything that you’ve ever done for me. You’re a very good person, Harukawa-san.”

Maki murmurs, “One day, I’ll believe that.”

Tears drip down Shirogane’s face as she clings to Maki like her life depends on it.

-

For her birthday that year, Maki bakes Shirogane the most wonderful, extravagant cake that she’s ever seen. It’s slumped over to one side, and according to the chef herself, tastes like sand.

Shirogane thinks it’s the most delicious thing that she has ever tasted.

-

While Maki angrily deletes emails from her computer, Shirogane taps the screen of her phone along to the beat of the song that she’s been playing for the last ten minutes. For some reason, she just can’t manage to get the highest score on it.

The rhythm game currently owns her soul, as does the long haired costume designer, and the tiny, shy first year. Surprisingly, it’s helped a lot with managing her emotions. She can channel negative feelings into the game, and make herself feel safer.

She had tried to get Maki to download the application as well, but she didn’t seem to understand the appeal.

“I swear, if I get  _ another _ invitation…” Maki grumbles, deleting yet another email.

Shirogane raises her head, “Are you okay?”

Maki looks down at her hands, then says, “Yeah, just… too many spam emails. Sorry, it’s not big deal.”

Shirogane replies, “Well, if it upsets you, then it is important! Harukawa-san, I promise you, it’s okay to talk about your emotions! You’re always encouraging me to talk about mine… so I want to do the same for you.”

Maki offers a rare but no less genuine smile, “I appreciate it. Really though, it’s not a problem, just my temper getting in the way again.”

Silence falls over them again. Suddenly, the black haired girl says, “Call me Maki. I mean… you can, if you’d like.”

Shirogane’s eyes widen, “O-Oh! Okay, M-Maki! You… You can call me Tsumugi, in that case! I’d… like that very much.”

“Okay, Tsumugi,” Maki says, the smile back on her face and wider than ever.

Shirogane smiles too, feeling warm. They stare into each other’s eyes for a weirdly long time, until Shirogane returns to tiering, and Maki continues deleting her emails.

-

Nights never pass easily for her. Shirogane sits on the carpet by the sofa, picking up the loose strings from the brown and yellow rug. It’s such an ugly colour, but it came with the apartment. She fiddles with them under a single white light bulb that hangs right above her head.

It’s just past one in the morning, but she has no plans to get any more sleep, as long as she’s alone in her bed. Passing out on the floor is another category altogether.

Maki is more than likely fast asleep in her room. Shirogane pulls on another string, forcibly tugging it out of the rug. She runs her thumb over it and tries not to cry.

“Stop being weak,” she hisses at herself, then clenches her teeth tight. Her tongue drags across her lips, feeling every fleck of dead skin.

She could be using this valuable time to finalize their contestants for the trivia game show. There’s a notebook on her desk with a list of everyone who qualifies so far. Above the list, underlined and in all capitals, is the sentence  _ ‘This is all that matters.’ _

The light above her flickers.

Footsteps echo across the linoleum floors and Maki’s voice rings out, “Tsumugi? What’s going on?”

Shirogane closes her fists, “I can’t sleep.”

Maki crosses over to her and sits across from her on the carpet, “Well, that makes two of us, I suppose.”

They sit like this for a good long time, Shirogane rocking back and forth, and Maki running her fingers through her hair. The motion that the black haired girl makes reminds Shirogane of a question that’s been pressing on her for years, that she’s been desperate to ask, but too afraid to voice.

“H… Maki?” Shirogane asks nervously, “Will you… Will you cut my hair, please?”

Maki blinks, “Right now? I mean, I absolutely can, if you’d like.”

Shirogane nods quickly. Maki strokes her chin, then says, “Okay… wait right there, okay?”

She returns a moment later with a pair of safety scissors. She sits behind Shirogane on the couch, then asks, “How short do you want it?”

“I-In a bob, I suppose?” Shirogane says, “I just really want to get rid of… all of it.”

Maki acknowledges her, then begins cutting the long strands of her hair. They crumple to the floor like heavy snow falling from the clouds.

It takes a very long time, but before the oven clock reaches  _ 4:00, _ Shirogane’s hair don’t even touch her shoulders. Maki guides her to the bathroom to show off her handiwork. She seems to be a little nervous, being unable to look at Shirogane as the blue haired girl examines it.

“It’s perfect,” Shirogane says, beaming. Maki shyly tucks a lock of loose hair behind Shirogane’s ear.

Maki asks softly, “Do you think you’d be able to sleep now? It’s okay if you can’t, though. I understand. I could try and stay up with you, if that’s okay.”

Shirogane shrugs, “I don’t really know if I could sleep. I’m still… scared. And I… don’t like being alone. Does that make any sense?”

“You can come share my bed, then,” Maki says. Then her eyes widen, and she quickly corrects, “That was presumptuous of me, I’m sorry.”

Shirogane rubs the back of her neck, her gaze flickering between Maki and the grim covered sink, “I’d actually like that. Assuming that you don’t mind.”

Maki replies, “I wouldn’t have offered if I minded.”

In the morning, Shirogane awakens to sunlight streaming in through the windows, warming her up. She’s curled up close to Maki in the bed, and if she were to move ever so lightly, they’d be touching.

(There are very few nights after that where the two do  _ not _ end up sharing a bed.)

-

Team  _ Dangan Ronpa’s  _ trivia game show makes it’s debut in the fall, six months before the ten year anniversary of the end of the final killing game.

Shirogane doesn’t involve herself in the actual live show, but instead continues to scout around the cities, looking for worthwhile people. Less and less people recognize her when she introduces herself now. Meanwhile, Maki is the head of production, always bossing people in the studio around.

Everyone’s at least a little bit scared of her.

As the camera rolls, Shirogane slinks up the stairs into the production booth. The studio audience begins to clap as the poorly composes theme plays. Maki is standing in the booth, giving orders to tiny interns.

At the sight of Shirogane, her demeanor instantly softens. She crosses to the blue haired girl, and they stand together, watching the trivia show play out. From what Shirogane can tell, it’s destined to either be cancelled instantly, or be one of those shows that only old people watch on Sunday nights.

Halfway through the episode, Maki reaches out and takes Shirogane’s hand, interlacing their fingers. They stay linked together for the rest of the night.

This is the life they have chosen to live, and for the first time in a long time, Shirogane’s content with it.

Maki leans on her shoulder. Shirogane pulls her closer. For this little moment, all is well.

**Author's Note:**

> Akame's from Akame Ga Kill! I've never seen it  
> i cameo in this fic see if u can find me


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